Human beings have two basic instincts: one is to eat, the other is to have sex.
While, there is no set definition of what constitutes a “normal” libido, or how often you should feel like having sex, everyone deserves (and wants) a healthy, satisfying and fun sex life; both for your own enjoyment and to keep your relationship strong.
Bear in mind that we are cyclical beings, so having times where you just don’t feel like getting jiggy is normal, healthy and usually nothing to worry about.
But if these libido-droughts are turning into months or years, are starting to affect your self-esteem, sexuality or relationship; it might be time to check your hormones and take some action, in order to get some action.
Our last blog looked at 5 hormonal reasons why your sex drive might have gone on vacay.
Here are 10 ways to get it back.
1. Move that body
Daily movement is recommended for good health for approximately a gazillion different reasons. It gets your blood flowing, lymphatic system moving, supports cardiac health and relieves stress when done mindfully and in the right doses.
One of the best ways that exercise supports sex drive is through boosting testosterone levels in both men and women.
Resistance training in particular is particularly effective in this department for women (and men) while studies show that HIIT training can boost testosterone as well, but only for those endowed with penises.
When it comes to exercise, we do give one warning: beware of the dangers of overdoing it. Your libido will love regular movement, but it won’t love you pushing your body too hard. Afterall, you want to have some physical energy left to use between the sheets.
Check out our blog on exercise & hormone imbalance to find out how to crack the code of exercising regularly while keeping your hormones beautifully balanced.
2. Get your zzz’s in
If there’s one thing that every health expert will agree on, its that sleep is a pretty big deal when it comes to every aspect of good health. It’s really no surprise that this includes a healthy libido.
Both lack of sleep and poor sleep quality kill your sex drive in several ways. In the most basic sense, if you’re exhausted, you're probably going to want to sleep it up rather than sex it up.
For starters, the majority of your testosterone is produced during your deepest, most restorative phases of sleep. If you’re not doing enough time in this deep sleep state, you’re won’t be getting optimal testosterone production either.
3. Get some adaptogens on board: Maca & Ashwagandha
In no less than four double-blind studies, maca root powder improved sex drive and libido in both men and women. BOOM.
What is maca? It comes from a Peruvian root that was traditionally eaten to improve many areas of health including stamina, power, and—you guessed it— libido.
Maca has an almost caramel-like flavour, so it pairs well in a smoothie with a cacao or vanilla, banana and nut butter kind of vibe.
Ashwagandha on the other hand is basically the MVP of ayurvedic adaptogens. Because it improves blood flow and reduces tension, ashwagandha is an awesome everyday libido booster you can add to your health regime.
4. Eat fats
Fats make up the building blocks for our hormones. If you are following a fat diet, or are not making sure to get enough healthy fats in, you’ll be making low levels of hormones and thus wanting low levels of sex.
To make sexy hormones make sure you’re getting plenty of the right kind of fats: avocado, salmon, nuts, seeds, olive oil & coconut. An added bonus of eating fats is that they also support stable blood sugar levels - another key to beautifully balanced hormones.
5. Up your zinc
One of the many reasons we love zinc is the way in which it supports regular, ovulatory cycles in women. This wonder-mineral nourishes ovarian follicles (eggs) and promotes ovulation, which we know is essentially the ‘on-switch’ for female sex hormones.
For more on the importance of ovulation for balanced hormones, check out our blog to find out more about Why You Really Should Care About Ovulation.
In men, zinc is essential for testosterone production and there have been many studies to show the close relationship these two share. Some of these studies also demonstrate how low zinc levels can be linked to erectile issues. So, make sure your man has good zinc levels, k?
6. Sort your stress
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: nothing kills your libido like stress does.
While your adrenal glands are busy pumping out stress hormones, your nervous system is geared towards survival - not sex.
7. Focus on intimacy
Whatever this looks like for you, the little intimate moments you share with your partner are more important for a healthy libido than you might realise.
The snuggle first thing in the morning, the cute text during the day and the kiss planted from behind while you’re cooking dinner; it’s the small acts of affection that lay the foundations for the bigger things. The reality is, many of us need to feel loved and connected before we feel desire.
As a general rule of affection - if you want more, give more.
8. Tag team the chores
There’s a common misconception that intimacy starts in the bedroom, but it doesn’t. It starts long before that.
For women (and some men), being aware of all the chores that need doing is enough to turn them right off. Those piles of crusty dishes and dirty clothes are not sexy...
Environment plays a big part in helping us to feel safe and calm stress. If your environment looks like a physical to-do list, intimacy is not going to be a priority. And nothing kills the mood more than resentment towards an uneven distribution of household tending to, and the persisting tiredness from doing it all.
How to get your partner to help out? Tell them how sexy they look when they do the dishes. Tell them how it makes you feel safe and provided for. Or, if you have the means, outsource these chores for the sake of your sex life. But seriously though.
And hey, you might find that watching your partner do the dishes and clean the kitchen is a bit like watching them hold a baby or fix your car. It’s a totally non-sexual-turn-on that may have you both abandoning the sink - suds and all - to head to the boudoir.
9. Tech-free bedroom
You know what’s hot? Undivided attention.
Research suggests that we’re all having way less sex now than the generations before us did, and they’re fairly certain the small, rectangular devices that follow us everywhere have a lot to do with it.
If lying in bed together scrolling different screens is a regular occurrence for you and your beloved, it might be worth thinking about whether this precious quality time could be better spent talking about your days, or generally connecting more on an emotional or physical level.
Charge your phones in the living room and buy an alarm clock. Easy.
10. Have sex
In some cases, you don’t want sex because you’re not having enough of it. Sure, you might not feel like it. But one of the best ways to want it (tried and tested by some of the Eve team too) is to have more of it.
Orgasms (and the wonderful release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin that goes with them) help to balance hormones, increase sex-drive boosting oestrogen, and boost your libido. Try it and thank us later!